Tonight I attended my second AA meeting. The first one last week was a candlelight session on a Tuesday, and there were about 5 people there. All 5 people were down on their luck, quite a bit older, and had a lot of depressing details to share in the hour and a half.
Tonight's meeting was a "fun bunch discussion" meeting, and more up my alley. There were about 60 people there, sarcastic comments and jokes were told throughout, and stories ranged from having great days to not so great. The mix of people went from college kids, to married men and women, people with kids, young and old, and adults who have 30 years sobriety. I instantly felt like I could connect with each person in a different way. This meeting's tradition at the start of teh hour is to go around the room and state your name and date of sobriety. When I told the room I have 2 weeks, they all applauded me and welcomed me. Throughout the night about 10 people came up and introduced themselves, and the girl sitting next to me talked to me during the whole break, and we even swapped numbers at the end of the night.
The very first man who spoke said the only amount of time he could remain sober while he was drinking was 1 day, or one time he even made it to 3 days. 6 speakers later, a woman shared that she understood what he was talking about, because she too couldn't even do the 1 day. She would wake up and tell herself in the morning, "Today I am not going to drink. I can do this." But by 3pm she convinced herself she was overreacting and having a drink would be no big deal.
Talk about someone sharing EXACTLY how I have felt for so long now!
There were girls there my age, there were girls younger than me, and there were women a little bit older than me. It helped to see that we are all in there for the same reason, and it happens to women too! And it doesn't make us bad people. We are there to make ourselves better people...people who don't drink.
So, Wednesdays are my meeting days, I have decided. This one feels right. It's funny because when I pulled up and saw sooo many people, my stomach turned into knots and I was terrified to go in. But it ended up being the meeting I am looking for. Someone even said tonight, "if you're comfortable, you're doing something wrong." So, I learned that stepping out of my comfort zone can lead to great things. Life a life of sobriety.
Although, I still can't get past the thought that I won't ever be able to drink again. One day at a time, one day at a time.