Page 74

Loudoun came out of his room for the 8th time during bedtime tonight. This time, compared to the other 7 times (asking for water, a new movie, my tummy hurts, I can't sleep, etc.), he was legitimately afraid. He said he couldn't stop thinking about a scary moment that occurred a few days ago.

For reference, he was swimming in the spa with 1/2 the cover still on, went underwater to practice holding his breath, and when he came back up his head hit the cover, and gave him a panic feeling like he was trapped. It didn't seem like a big deal at the time, since he swam right over to the open area, but I guess it was on his mind a bit more than mine.

So, while he was out in the living room telling us how much it was bothering him, Rick and I were trying to suggest other things he could think about to take his mind off of it. Not much was working, so I suggested he go read his kids' Bible. He was still slow to move, so I tried explaining that God is watching him right now, understands that he is scared, and reading His words will help make him feel better. And then I told him to go read page 74.* That convinced him to scurry along.

Loudoun came back 5 minutes later and said, "Did you know that God has wings? His wings are so big they wrap around the world and cover everyone." Wow, what a moment. He read a page that perfectly explained that God is there to protect him. What a lesson God showed all of us, at the exact perfect moment. We sat around and talked about it for a few, and afterwards he was ready to try sleep again. Although, Loudoun did tell us that God never sleeps, to which I replied, "Yes, but YOU do."

Afterwards, I HAD to go check out what verse page 74 refers to in the Bible....Psalm 121.

Psalm 121
A song of ascents.

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Oh what a blessing this was. I love to see God working in my children.

* I know critics recommend you don't randomly point to Bible verses to answer life questions...this was purely a strategy to redirect Loudoun's focus.

It's been awhile...

...Since the kids and I enjoyed some Saturday morning, decadent, thick-frosting, super delicious donuts together. So we made a morning of it!

Disclaimer: their donuts don't look like anything special, but mine was the most decadent, black and white donut known to man.

Four Fantabulous Years

Four years ago today, I married the BEST MAN, on the best island, with the best people by my side.

Rick is kind.

Rick is hysterically funny.

Rick is a caring and loving dad. 

 

Rick supports me through everything in life.

I can't imagine my life without him.

Happy fourth anniversary, Baby.

Wordless Wednesday

The ruby that saved my vacation

For the first 2 days of vacation, Loudoun stared at this jewel in the drugstore window every time he passed it.
He had to have it.
We went inside and asked the clerk how much it was.
12 dollars, and Loudoun had enough in his wallet from his tooth fairy money.
He looked up at me, innocent and proud, and asked me to help him count out the exact amount.
When he was handed the jewel in the wrapped bag, he skipped out of the store, joyful and excited. 
All of my frustration and anger of not being able  to drink on vacation floated from my mind in an instant.
My heart melted for him, and drinking no longer seemed important.
I felt it, I knew it and I recognized it immediately.
It was then that I was able to cry to my husband for 20 minutes and get past the frustration and admit to myself that this was harder than I thought it was going to be.
Talking to him about everything released all the trapped anger. 
The rest of the vacation was pleasant, relaxing and not-drinking-stress-free. 
I came home and went to a new meeting the next evening, which helped round out my strength in sobriety.
And it was God who got me through all 8 days, for he stayed with me and put Loudoun, Rick and the situations in my path.

10 and a half months, and I feel I finally got through the hardest part of the first year. I only hope that I know to recognize future vacations and situations as possible traps and stay strong. 

Phew!

Do I HAVE to come back to reality?????

We're currently on our summer beach vacation. Enjoying the warm sun, the cool breeze, the white sand.  The waffle cones, snorkeling, mini golf, family time, naps, walks, candy, submarine trips, favorite pizza, and cabana time. We never thought the 2nd week of July would get here, and now it is almost over. But we have made the most out of every second, so this has been a family vacation for the memory books.

Why do vacations have to end?

Funeral Procession

On the 134 freeway.
Coming up on Forest Lawn Memorial Park and Mortuary.
Watching the funeral procession in the slow lane.
Glancing at each car I pass, wondering which family member or friend they lost.
Feeling sorrow for each one, not quite understanding the pain they must be feeling.
As I get closer to the front, I finally see the hearse.
And for the first time in my life, I feel a sense of excitement for the person who died.
Because of the possibility that they are on their way to the most perfect place imaginable.
Of course it makes it easier because I don't know the person who is now gone.
But I pray that they are on their way to meet Him.
And I daydream of how lucky I am that one day I will be there, too.

I have been listening to Something Changed by Sara Groves a lot lately. Good stuff, you should check it out.

Something changed inside me broke wide open all spilled out
Till I had no doubt that something changed
Never would have believed it till I felt it in my own heart
In the deepest part the healing came

And I cannot make it
And I cannot fake it
And I can't afford it
But it's mine

Something so amazing in a heart so dark and dim
When a wall falls down and the light comes in

And I cannot make it
And I cannot fake it
And I can't afford it
But it's mine

Cherry on Top

I've been starving myself eating healthy in preparation for my upcoming family beach vacation, so when I saw the blog title "Cherry on Top" in my blog reader for Clara's new post, I clicked in a hurry. I mean, yummy desserts, right? I love her posts regardless of talk about sweets...she is a mom, a friend and a recovering alcoholic (6 months, baby!), so I find many inspiring words on her site that help me move along from day to day. So when she wasn't talking about desserts and instead nominated me for this award, I was blown away and so touched.

 

 

The rules of this yummy award are to...

 

1. Thank the person who gave the award to you.
Thank you Clara, this means so much! 

2. Copy award and put it on your blog.
See it up there? Done.  

3. List three things you love about yourself

• My laugh
• My big heart for babies and animals
• My determination to get things done that are important to me 

4. Post a photo that you love

 

This photo was taken 5 weeks after Avalon was born, in August of 2007. Loudoun was 3 and a half, and Rick and I had just completed our family. We still lived in our small apartment with couches that were falling apart, but we have always been happy no matter where we live or what circumstances we were in, and I see that in all of our faces. Plus, it was summer....we all love summer. I also love that someone made us sit down for a family portrait, even though so random and impromptu, because it seems one of us is always missing from the picture. And yes, Loudoun is eating raisins.

 

5. Tag five people you wish to pass this award on to
 1. Rachel: http://losonoincinta.blogspot.com/

    (I know her site is private, but she is one of my best friends and she deserves the award).

2. Julie: http://chaosmoon.xanga.com/
3. Meg: http://megduerksen.typepad.com/whatever/

4. Beth: http://www.ishouldbefoldinglaundry.com/

5. Nicole: http://www.mybottlesup.com/

It was awesome getting tagged! Super fun...I hope the next 5 find it as fun as I did.

4th of July pictures, mostly for archiving purposes, and those few who care

Avalon got ahold of the MEGA squirt gun....muah, HA HA

Jungle gym Jeff

Red velvet cupcake. So lady-like

 
Loudoun kept disappearing into the game room for Mario Kart

Sign-throwin' homiez

 
My son, the swimming vampire

Life is a surprise to Rick

Thanks, Corey, for all of the watermelon

My kids couldn't get enough

Looks just like birthday cupcakes, huh?

 
Good friends

Fun times

52 card pick-up, on a newbie

Best seats for fireworks

Out in the street had the best view

Avalon brought her beverage to the occasion

Hanging out in the driveway until bedtime. LOVE IT.

Moving on UP in the world

Some of you might recall that Avalon recently went in for her 30 month check-up and that appointment confirmed that she is under weight but as healthy as can be. We have been shoving food down her throat lately and we were excited to take her in for her 3 year check-up to see if our efforts have been worth it.

She was excited about going to the doctor for three days straight. So much so that we were able to bargain good behavior from her on many occasions. We went in on the Friday before the July 4th weekend, so it was busy, and we had to wait a LONG time, but she was an angel and seemed to really enjoy mommy/daughter time.

We were finally called back into a room, and waited there a bit longer. We read books and looked out the window and got up and down off the table, oh, around 64 times.

And then the doctor came in.

And I would've sworn the man beat her in a previous life. She started screaming bloody murder. She ran around the room like a chicken with its head cut off. When I picked her up she screamed in my ear and tried climbing out of my arms. She kept repeating, "I wanna go home! Let me go!! I wanna leave NOW!" Poor doctor, he's a nice guy and we couldn't even hear each other talk.

We finally got through the 5 minute visit, even though he didn't even really get to look at her at all. He left, and she started to calm down. The nurse came in and we did a vision test and hearing test. Both great results. Then it was time for shots and get this, she stuck her arm out to help the nurse insert the needle. Alright kid, you make no sense.

So we got her stickers and took off to begin our holiday weekend. Here are her stats, for those interested. She is now 36", up from 35" in March. Which bumps her up into the 25th percentile. Woohoo! Her weight went up from 24 pounds to 25.5 pounds. Still in the 5th percentile, but on the last visit she had dipped under her regular growth curve, and now she is back on it. Considering in the whole previous year she hadn't gained anything, and now 1.5 pounds in several months, I am impressed. At the rate she is eating now, in 6 months to a year we should see huge improvements. YAY! And she definitely ate her share of red velvet cupcakes yesterday to celebrate 4th of July. We all did.

I hope everyone had a nice holiday. I'll have pics shortly, because we definitely had a wonderful time enjoying friends and family, good food and lots of fun. Laterz!

Parents, don't try this at home

A lot of parents give their babies something to drink when they go to bed. It's part of the falling asleep easily process, and seems to work well for a lot of families. With some moms this happens with nursing the baby to sleep and with others it is a bottle of formula. But nonetheless, we learn early on in parenting that bedtime beverage=easier sleep for everyone.

We took Loudoun off all bedtime beverages when we were trying to potty train, in an attempt to make nighttime as dry as daytime. He had no arguments with it, and it stuck as part of the nightly routine. No liquids.

Avalon followed the same pattern as Loudoun...drank milk as a newborn, sipped milk from a bottle as a toddler in a crib, etc.

Then we moved into our new house. Avalon was 2 at the time, and we decided it was the perfect time to switch from the crib to a big girl bed. She was to also move into her own bedroom, after sharing one with her brother since birth.

It went smoothly, because she is so easy going and so is Loudoun. But they didn't want to seperate bedrooms, so we didn't force it and moved her toddler bed into Loudoun's room.

The first night, she asked for a sippy cup of apple juice, and not thinking....

WE SAID YES.

Loudoun asked for one too, since siblings always have to have what the other has. And we said yes.

REPEAT: WE ARE IDIOTS.

Generally speaking, we know it's not smart to give your kids juice at bedtime, since all the sugar just sits on their teeth all night long. But for some lame reason, when they asked, it didn't cross our minds, and we allowed it.

Bottom line?

Loudoun's dentist appointment 1 month prior to moving houses: Perfect checkup.
Loudoun's dentist appointment 8 months after allowing juice: He has multiple cavities. 5 to be exact.

I cried 2 days ago as I stood behind him getting 2 of the cavities filled. There he was, so brave on the outside but yet so frightened on the inside, with 2 ladies working over him holding multiple tools. I could hear the drills and the saliva sucker and wondered what was running through his mind. It was because of our lack of sensible parenting that he was forced to deal with this trauma. Argh, the guilt has been eating me alive inside. I'm just glad we caught it when we did, and fixed our bedtime routine with both kids immediately.

Turns out, Loudoun said it didn't hurt at all, he was fascinated by the numb lip/face afterwards, he scored getting frozen yogurt afterwards and he thought it was pretty cool getting to see his teeth in x-ray form. One more dentist trip and we will have it all fixed, including sealant on all teeth.

But, parents out there, lesson learned...drinks at bedtime seem so easy and comforting to all involved, but they are more trouble than they are worth. Learn from me!