Because the truth is?
I don't struggle.
I don't think about drinking, I don't crave drinking, and I don't wish I could drink again. Really ever. Of course there are random moments when I smell Kahlua somewhere and momentarily miss a nice coffee drink with dessert. Or see a salt-rimmed margarita glass on a table next to the chips and salsa, and wish I could have one.
But day to day, weekend to weekend, morning to night, I don't think about or miss alcohol. I don't wish I had it to unwind, or get through a rough day, or numb the pain of a tough situation. It isn't a necessary part of a celebration and as I found out this past week, I don't need it to get through a vacation.
And I hate writing that, because 1) I don't want to make anyone feel bad if they still do crave alcohol, and 2) I don't want anyone to think I feel I did something to earn this, because I had absolutely nothing to do with it.
I owe all of my recovery to Him. He saved me, repaired me, taught me a new way, and saves me every single day by removing the craving. I feel so blessed by His mercy.
I don't deserve it.
I don't know why it is this way for me....
Maybe craving alcohol isn't supposed to be my trial to deal with right now.
Maybe He took away the daily craving so I can deal with other issues in this time and space.
Maybe He is setting me up for other things in the future.
Maybe He made my sobriety path look this way so I can share how awesome He is with whoever reads this post.
Maybe there are people out there, teetering on quitting drinking, or teetering on turning their life over to Jesus. And this will open doors.
Maybe I will never know why He took the craving away from me.
All I know is I am so grateful.
I don't deserve this gift, and yet He has given it to me.
All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.
Disclaimer: I do not assume it will be like this forever, I do not take for granted how amazing this gift is, and I remind myself every day that I am still an alcoholic, who will never be able to drink normally again. And again, I did NOTHING to earn or deserve this.