So, yeah, it was rough for a couple of days, saying no to the constant requests for snacks between the 5 o'clock hour and the 6 o'clock hour, but we got through it and my kids ate so much more at dinner. And more variety. Avalon now eats BROCCOLI! Of course she requires 50 shreds of cheddar cheese on each bite, but I'll take it because we now have a vegetable in the mix.
But yesterday, for some reason, during school pick-up, as Avalon was eating an applesauce left over from her lunch at 5pm (school let her before I arrived), she asked for a snack. A SECOND snack, since there was already one in her hand. When I calmly replied that we don't eat snacks anymore and she mysteriously already had one in her hand, ULTIMATE MELTDOWN ENSUED.
I mean, literally, this girl melted into the backseat of the car as I drove home, and continued on for a good 1/2 hour of kicking and screaming.
I'm learning with my daughter that if she has a set plan in her head and things deviate even the slightest, she can't handle it with maturity yet. And of course that is understandable, she is FOUR. So, most times I try and either give her plenty of notice that the plans have changed or will change, or I try and be flexible with the family plans if it means we can accommodate her a bit and still keep everyone else happy.
But for something like this new no snack rule that seems to be working well for everyone, especially her, I definitely wanted to stand my ground and it was hard to foresee it coming when her tantrum hit full force in a matter of milliseconds.
I mean, really? KID, you are eating something as you ask for a 2nd snack!!! When I offered to make dinner early if she really was that hungry, she replied with I don't like dinner! So, all reasoning had gone out the window.
Recently Hy posted a piece about being patient with her boys as they tried new things and learned their independence. Right now, it seems like it would be so much easier to stand and wait if Avalon was trying new things (as slow as she may be). But instead she is having a hard time accepting things if they are different from the plan she had imagined, and I am having a hard time foreseeing her plans in enough time to help her through it positively.
Maybe this is a growing pain she has to learn....maybe this is a growing pain I need to learn. We both seem to be strong-willed. But we're doing it together with as much love and understanding as we can. Some days are better than others.
And it is hard to see her struggle in this way.
Stop on over at Alita's place today to read other Bigger Picture Moments or to submit your own. There is definitely some great reading over there!
Ok, yes, I have one of those kids, too. G cannot roll with the flow; he has an idea of how life should be, and he has it all planned out. So I know what you are talking about to some extend. It is a struggle for both -- because they have to learn to bend while we have to learn that we must extend grace {grace, grace, and more grace}. This is a lesson I'm slowly learning, too, Robin. Standing strong right with you.
ReplyDeleteI can feel the struggle. You could replace that whole situation with my son Martin! I'm going to think about this no snack rule though. It seems to be one that might work.
ReplyDelete@LindyI couldn't believe how well it worked....it was awesome! Best of luck trying it, too. :)
ReplyDeleteYes -- we are so there too, in different ways with all three of our boys. It's hard for me, at times, to not get frustrated with their refusal/inability to go with MY plan. The grace mantra is one I have playing on a loop in my mind. Thanks for your transparency with this; I won't feel as defeated the next time I have a little one melting into his seat ;)
ReplyDeleteIt *is* hard to watch them endure things that are just repeatedly *hard* for them, when we know our job isn't to take away the problem, but to help them cope with it. I think your aim to handle this with grace is a great example to all of us moms struggling with huge battles over tiny things. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI wish you strength to enforce the stability that predictable rules give to a child. She be happier and more secure in the end....though she probably won't tell you so for 20 to 25 yrs! :-)
ReplyDeleteOh I wish you lived closer, our daughters appear to be soul mates! Oh yes I know that meltdown dilemma! 4 (for my girl) has proven to be such a very hard, very hard age. I also have found that it is harder with my daughter probably because she is a) a girl and b) so much like me....we butt heads all the time.
ReplyDeleteOh and good job, and good luck with the picky eater, it gets easier, really, I promise :-)