BEAUTY

I see His Creation in a whole new light. 

Colors are brighter, blooms are miraculous. The Earth is impressive in all its glory. 

 

 He has taught me how to love on a new level. 

I always dreamed of being married with 2 kids. 

My dream came true, and oh how I feel blessed that this is my life. 

 

I was searching for something bigger, 

and I could never have imagined how consuming it would be. 

How He would fill me. 

I can feel His love overflowing from within, and it takes my breath away. 

Some moments it feels like I'm short of breath.  

 

Other moments it can produce tears of joy.

And in turn my love for my precious ones has expanded to depths I never knew possible.  

 

Blessed to be loved by the Creator. And to enjoy all of His creations. 

all photos taken with the iPhone 4.

Divine Romance

A deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from You

Of deep deep love, yeah it’s filling up the room

Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life

In Your presence God I’m completely satisfied.

For You I sing I dance, Rejoice in this divine romance

The fullness of Your grace is here with me.

* lyrics by Phil Wickham

14 of us were baptized on Saturday night, and 36 the entire weekend. Isn't that amazing?! God was glorified, that I am sure of. I was nervous prior to the actual baptism, but most of that was fear of my toddler acting up in the middle of service, since the baptisms were at the end. An hour is a long time for a 3 year old to sit still, in a place she isn't used to. But she was great, and when the time came to go upstage, God was with me and kept me calm. 

I feel the entire experience brought me closer to knowing Jesus. Knowing what He went through, and making Him more real in my heart. I plan on spending the rest of my life getting to know Him as much as He will let me, until the day I meet Him in Heaven. 

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Celebration. With family and friends. 

1 Peter 3:20-22

And this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a clear conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who has gone into heaven and is at God’s right hand—with angels, authorities and powers in submission to him.

Prepping for big things

Saturday: getting ready for egg decorating

Getting ready for Saturday church service

Post on my baptism to come....

And just for fun...

I finally figured out how to photograph my fast-moving,
black dog...hold a dog cookie over my head.
I had his complete attention!
It only took me 7 months to figure this out. 

the 2 sides of Easter

In the final day before my Baptism, I am spending a lot of quiet time thinking and praying and talking to Him. Loudoun asked me yesterday what a Baptism is all about, besides the fact that his mom is going to be dunked on stage like in a carnival dunk tank. And the words of sin, grace and mercy, perfect Saviour, repentance, holy, love and eternity flowed from my lips as only the Holy Spirit could provide. Loudoun sat there attentive, his eyes glued to mine, listening to every word about our great Lord. 


And that's what this Baptism is about to me - Giving God glory and sharing the Gospel with people who need to hear it. 


I have cried many times the past couple of days, thinking about the love and mercy He pours out on me, and how unworthy I feel to receive it. Christ died for my sins, all of them - past and future, and I love that I will always associate my Baptism with Easter weekend.  


And because it was such a big part of my childhood, egg hunts and Easter bunnies will always be a part of my kids' childhoods. I mean, when your kid wants to go to preschool like this, 

how could I give up the bunny part of Easter? 

My spunky girl

We're making great progress in the world of toddler drama, 

So Friday's post is a tribute to how much I love this little girl 

and how much I feel we have overcome together in the past week. 

We've learned a lot about each other 

and grew closer in the process. 

Building a tropical oasis

Slowly but surely, we have been trying to improve the looks of our backyard. We started with trying to trim the Bougainvillea, next I tried to REMOVE the Bougainvillea myself, and finally I hired someone to RIP OUT the Bougainvillea and cart it away. Phew!

In case you don't remember how bad it was, let me remind you:

 

Since then (end of March), Rick and I have been spending our paychecks enjoying many trips to the nursery together. We aren't quite finished, such as we need to repaint the fence, clear out the old white rock and replace it with something else, and the ivy needs to grow all the way across the back. But already it is a huge improvement.

COME ON, SUMMER. WE'RE READY FOR YA.

Back to Basics

As I approached work yesterday morning, only a few blocks away, I turned off my mp3 player and settled on the local Christian radio station. The pastor was just starting a sermon on 2nd Peter chapter 2, verses 1 and 2. 

1 Dear friends, this is now my second letter to you. I have written both of them as reminders to stimulate you to wholesome thinking. ² I want you to recall the words spoken in the past by the holy prophets and the command given by our Lord and Savior through your apostles.


Focusing on the second verse, seeking out more and more knowledge can be a dangerous thing. All we need is right in the Word. Chasing after more bible studies and worship services and book study groups can be a negative thing, for knowledge can equal pride. Everything we need to know is right in the Bible, told to us by the prophets (Old Testament), Jesus Christ (the Gospels) and the Apostles (the Letters). We are commanded to return to these teachings repeatedly. 


This really hit home with me as a new believer, because I feel I am always seeking out more, more, more. I am so excited to learn as much as possible, and that can be ok, but the basics are already in my heart and mind and I need to focus on those. 


I need to stop trying to do my will, and turn my will over to Him. 
I need to love on everyone, more than I love myself. 
I need to be more accepting of people's traits and weaknesses, and not judge. 


All so easy to recite or write, not as easy to live every day. I judge my husband in the middle of arguments, I snap at my kids when lack of patience gets the best of me, I take things into my own hands all day long and get frustrated at the results. I think negative thoughts about people but my feelings get hurt if I hear negative things about me. Sure, none of this is all the time. But it's there, and He knows it, and I know it. 


Heard this morning, it would be better to learn 1 thing and put it into practice than to learn 5 things and not practice any of them. Yeah, I need to work on this one. 


What really sealed the deal in his sermon was his closing point: parents with young children, are you looking for more patience? Go to the Word.

:::Raises hand.:::

I mean, duh. I know that. It's logical and something I learned early on. But it's the quickest thing to become too busy to do. It's the easiest one to set aside when the day gets hectic. When my eyes are heavy at night, I find excuses.

Ironic, because it's the one the makes everything better. 

Need a graphic designer?

Loudoun's poster helped sell all of his chocolate bars in my office* before 8:00am.

*Might also say a lot about the love of sugar in my office. Especially for breakfast.

Bigger Picture Moment: Rocks

Upon arriving at Avalon's preschool to pick her up this afternoon, I noticed she had about 100 rocks in the belly part of her t-shirt, with the bottom seam flipped over holding them all in. She was so proud of those rocks, and when I tried to tell her she could take a couple of them home, she gave me a look that said anything less than 100 was going to be unacceptable. 

Not sure how I was going to let her in my car with 100 rocks, I asked her to walk over towards the gate while I grabbed her stuff. On her way, little by little, rocks were falling out left and right, because her little tummy just isn't big enough to rest the rocks against. 

When she arrived at the sidewalk, she lost grip on the seam of her t-shirt, and all of her rocks came tumbling down to her feet. She looked so sad and defeated. I told her to try and pick them up, and as I walked away to get her backpack, she yelled out, "I know Mommy, how about we get a box?"

Just as I got to her classroom, I ran into the principal, who was very excited to tell me she had just bought a box of cereal bars for Avalon in the mornings, because they are her favorite. And lo and behold, there was the perfect box for her rocks. 

My Wednesday evening AA meeting is held at her preschool, and as I walked in tonight, I walked right over the few rocks she missed. And it made me smile. For she showed so much maturity in that moment. Instead of melting down, she problem-solved. And I let out a sigh of relief. We're getting there. 

Little moments of clarity, understanding, creativity, beauty, among the chaos of motherhood and life. Those little moments many times offer us a glimpse of the Bigger Picture. The breathe of fresh air that gets us through the mundane day to day tasks. A little push, or validation that we might just be doing things right. Head over to Sarah's site for more bigger picture moments, or to add your own. 

fashionista

Last week was tough parenting a certain 3 and a half year old. That would explain why I was so pleasantly surprised that a 5 hour trip to the car dealer went smoothly, because every minute with her last week was a challenge. She tested every ounce of my patience. And won. And many times last week I had to hide the tears so that she wouldn't see she had gotten to me.

But the last 2 days have been better, and today picking her up from school was easy and went oh, so smoothly. Hopefully this is a sign that things will be changing for the better, at least for the next couple of weeks, until she wants to test her boundaries and independence in other ways. I'm ok with that, as long as I get breaks of niceness in between.

I have prayed sooo much for understanding and guidance to be a good parent to her, trying not to break her spirit while attempting to get her from point A to point B. You know, like when her brother's school is closing and "yes, we have to go right now."

This morning when I assumed she would still be sick from yesterday, she came in and woke me up saying she wanted to go to preschool. She was already dressed completely from head to toe, ready to go.

It may not look like anything out of the ordinary, but for a girl who typically only wants a t-shirt and jeans, this morning she was dressed to the nines. Zebra-striped headband, turquoise clip, pink beaded necklace (already removed at this point), pink Santa's helper PJ top (yes, from last night), plaid matching shorts and happy face rain boots (used to belong to Loudoun). I was impressed by her selection and her motivation to get ready all on her own and go to school. Big steps.

My favorite thing she does lately? She carries around this little jar filled to the rim with coins, mostly pennies, saying (over and over) "This is our ba-cation money, we're going on a ba-cation soon." She guards it with her life and if even one coin falls out she is so quick to pick it up.

I also adore that she says lellow. Can she say that forever?

Sibling LOVE

Avalon and I slept all day trying to overcome a cold we woke up with, and the boys spent the day hanging out together...video games, trips to {anywhere} in the new car, and gardening. Although we were divided all day, Rick and I  enjoyed our alone time with the kids.

We reconvened late in the afternoon, and grabbed spots on the living room couch to kick it. Rick and I looked over to see this:

Oh my heart. 

Do your kids ever completely surprise you?

Avalon has been quite the challenging almost 4 year old lately. I sat on the couch many recent nights wondering how I'm going to make it through to the next day, because she is so strong. And independent. Both great qualities, except when she is using them against you in her toddler years. Some days it feels like she is winning.

But last night, at 6:00pm, we decided to go look at a new car for Rick. A few nights prior, Rick saw a certain SUV online, and said, "I better get something like this car because it is the sensible thing to do." He was not enthused about it at all. "No way," I said! You need to be excited about whatever you get. So, when he saw this certain car online yesterday afternoon and grinned from ear to ear, I knew we had to go check it out. Right then. Not later this weekend.

So, without dinner in our bellies, and no naps that afternoon, we all piled up in his paid off, older car, and headed across town to look at this new, exciting truck. When we arrived, we were told the truck was on a different lot 2 miles away, and since we couldn't put our 2 kids in the salesman's car without car seats, I stayed back with the kids while Rick went to look at it.

Anyone who has shopped for a car knows it is a long process. Anyone who has kids knows you pray your kids get through it without getting tired, going crazy or losing their marbles. And last night, my kids were amazing. We arrived there at 6:30 and drove off the lot in our new car at midnight.

The dealer had popcorn, a kids area, a TV lounge area, a play firetruck to sit on, and a lot of other kids, so noise wasn't an issue. The kids played with me, they played with each other, teased the salesman, and they went with me to In and Out at 9:30 for dinner, while daddy discussed price.

I was so proud of my kids, making a 5 and a half hour experience fun for themselves and in turn fun for me.

Even Avalon crawling into the vintage showroom car during our hide and seek game was entertaining.

The only sad part of the evening was when Rick and I grabbed everything out of the old car, Loudoun started crying about missing it.

It was the only car he remembers daddy driving. He cried the whole way home, and Rick and I felt so helpless. But when Loudoun woke up this morning, he said, "Can I go sit in your new truck, Daddy, so I can get used to it?"

I see a bunch of new memories in our future.