Oh, my little peanut

Today you are 4. 


Of course, when I said happy birthday to you this morning, you said, it's not my birthday yet! because you equate birthdays with cupcakes, and those won't happen until after lunch at your summer camp. 


Your daddy and I are so relieved that 4 has finally arrived. 3 was a little rough towards the end (even though the terrible two's were a breeze with you), oh with the testing of wills and the independence struggles. But it was the same way with your brother, and that gave us some relief on the harder days. 


Despite the drama that came with some of your days, like refusing to wear anything but a dress (when there weren't any clean) or getting upset because the right sippy cup wasn't served to you with dinner, your dad and I have just been in awe of you this past year. You had so many growth spurts of maturity, that every time we turned around it seemed you were passing a new milestone...piecing sentences together, getting into your carseat and buckling the belt by yourself, tenderly caring for a friend or going to bed with ease, in your own bed (don't be fooled, this is still one to work on).


You have such a sweet nature that my favorite times of the day are falling asleep with you at night and waking up with you in the morning, with you right next to my side. While you are getting better at falling asleep in your own bed, you always crawl into ours around midnight. And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. You have always been a good snuggler, never taking up much room in our bed but still sticking close to my side so I can kiss your forehead at any time. 


My second favorite times with you would have to be our shopping trips. And this surprises me because one would normally think taking a 3 year old, independent child into a grocery store or department store would be brutal torture. But it's quite the opposite with you. When it's you and me together, we hold hands or I carry you on my hip (all 27 pounds of you), and you help me with all of the tasks that accompany shopping. Putting items in the cart, stirring my coffee at 7-11, picking out the best fruit and trying on clothes. It is our special time together, we talk and giggle and steal kisses from each other, and it has brought me so much joy. 


Your outgoing sense of style brings a smile to my face and joy to my afternoon when I get to pick you up from preschool and see what outfit you and Daddy picked out that morning. The color combination and pattern matching never disappoints and I think it speaks volumes on how much creativity and vibrancy you will have in your years to come. 


I love how you give me dandelions but tell me not to blow them away. 
I love how you ask for a hug and a kiss every morning when I leave. 
I love how you come running when I pick you up.
I love how you think your brother is the greatest kid in the world. 
I love how you have not 1, but 3 best friends. 
I love how you dance anytime you hear a song. 
I love how you blow bubbles out your car window. 
I love how you crave independence but still need your mama. 


I love your big heart. 


Baby girl, you added so much to our family when you joined us 4 years ago, and made us a COMPLETE unit of love. No matter what you go through in life, you will always be accepted in our family as our little Avalon. 


I love you, my sweet petunia. 

Love,
Mama

it just kept getting better

This weekend consisted of 98% pool time, 2% of other fun family activities and 100% love. BBQ'ed dinners, baking cookies, volleyball in the front yard, watering plants, movie nights at bedtime, cuddles on the couch, laughter. 

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Once our part of town gets warm, which is about a month later than the rest of the country, we spend as much time out in our backyard as we can. And thanks to a Christmas bonus, this summer have have a new dining table and lounge chairs, which make the outdoor experience even more enjoyable. Rick also went and bought swim floaties and tubes a-go-go on Saturday morning, because our silly dog tends to sneak them away when the kids take them off and puncture holes in them.

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Saturday afternoon, while Avalon passed out on the couch tired from pool and sunshine and Loudoun relaxed playing video games, I snuck out to take Barkley on a walk around the neighborhood. Normally our super hyper non-Labrador dog is pushing to go faster, faster, faster. 

But I guess due to the heat, Barkley was willing to stroll, and it was so nice to take in the warmth on my shoulders, the beautiful blooms from yard to yard, all while listening to a podcast sermon suggested by a friend studying the book of Galatians.  

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

~Galatians 5:22-25

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We follow a pretty strict bedtime in this household, not because we're sticklers for a certain time on the clock but we know very well that a certain 3 year old does not do well more than about 5 minutes after that set bedtime. But, as she is approaching her fourth birthday this week, and we have seen many positive changes in her maturity as of the last couple of weeks, I figured it was ok to try taking her out past her bedtime for frozen yogurt. I mean, it is summer and all. 

She has even matured to the level of switching 

the store sign...when they weren't even closed yet!

Trickster. 

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I thought since we were doing so well all weekend, I would attempt to take both kids to church with me this morning. Loudoun is always easy, as he likes to stay with me in the grown up sermon, but she typically doesn't like the whole drop off process, making it really hard for Loudoun and I to leave for our service. But we hyped up the new class she would get to try out today...the 4 year olds! And that seemed to do the trick. Reward for ease of drop off has always been play structure time after service, and today we stayed out there extra long. 

Loudoun told me yesterday that he is really nervous about starting a new summer camp this week. We had a nice chat about praying to God about his fears, something that is still new to his mind and heart. Today's sermon was the last in a series our church has covered on the book of James, and today was spent talking all about prayer. Prayer in time of need, prayer when you are sick, prayer when you have sinned and prayer to give praise to the Lord. It couldn't have been better timing for Loudoun. 

When we got home I told him we could pray about it together at bedtime, and he said Sure, but I also already did it during the service. With Daddy dropping him off at camp in the morning and staying with him until he's ok, and his Father sticking by his side all of his days, well, I think Loudoun has got some great support. 

Come near to God and he will come near to you. ~James 4:8

It's Amazing

It's amazing how...

...jumping back into the Bible can rekindle a passion for Christ in your heart. 
...encouraging words from friends can inspire the desire to dive back into the Word to reach for the relationship you know can be there. 
...repeating the word "sacrifice" when your child is being demanding can change your outlook on being a supportive mom instead of a selfish one. 
...a good night's sleep and lots of prayer while drifting off to dreamland can make the next morning a wonderful, brand new day. 
...sunshine can brighten your day and your outlook.

..a good cup of coffee makes all the difference. 

...all is grace because of Christ alone. 

Here's to a wonderful weekend for everyone. Cheers. 

I love birthdays!

Today, Bigger Picture Blogs is celebrating their one year birthday. 

Go over to Hyacynth's to see what all the commotion is about. 

You won't be sorry. Talk about love and joy overflowing!

feeling far away

::insert random pouring out of emotions and thoughts::


I feel apart from God. It is so hard for me to write that, but it's true. I know it in my heart, and it's troubling me. 


I haven't been in the Word lately. I haven't been much in prayer lately. And I feel it. I have been on fire for the Lord since becoming a believer less than 2 years ago, and I guess you could say this is the first withdrawal I've felt. I feel guilty for not picking up the Bible more. So then I do. Then I feel guilty for not having prayed more...when was the last time I did anyway? so then I do. And I don't jump into my normal prayer thoughts...I switch to, please bring me back to You. Please strengthen the fire again. I've even momentarily feared my salvation wasn't ever real. Scary, huh?


When I first became a believer, I heard a sermon about straying from God, and I thought, How could one ever do that? I was so on fire, it didn't seem like that would ever be possible. 


Maybe I am putting idols before God...although I cannot picture exactly which ones. Maybe I'm putting my own will before that of my Lord. I'm sure that is the case. Although I don't know why. 


I just want to be close to Him again. I know He will take me back with open arms every time I stray, how truly lucky are we for that? I know I need to turn everything over to Him to fully come back to Him. Maybe that's where I'm having trouble? I keep wondering if this is a phase that will pass, or if I have to proactively make changes that will redirect the relationship. I think I know the answer to that, it's just  feeling more difficult that I thought it would be. I have a feeling He's using this heavy heart of mine to bring me back to Him. 


Anyone have any insight? Gone through this before and have words of wisdom? I'd really appreciate to hear from you. 


::end::

Bringing the camping memories back with me

From Sunday until Tuesday all four of us went tent camping at Carpinteria State Beach (CA). Rick asked me months ago if his birthday present (June 8th) could be a camping trip, so I quickly went online to reserve a space at a highly-desired state beach camping space (they go fast!). We had been looking forward to this trip, and it did not disappoint. 

Our kids have been of course growing and maturing as they should, but I would have to say that this was the first time that Avalon was old enough to participate 100% in the family trip like everyone else. She rode her bike with Loudoun around the campsite, she was able to walk down to the beach without being carried, she was able to go to sleep in the tent with her brother, she roasted her own marshmallows, etc. No longer did she feel like the baby of the family...she was her own little person who camped just like the rest of us. Loudoun was full of energy and so excited to be outdoors. His favorites were fishing with daddy, checking out the tide pools, riding his bike and putting the wood in the fire pit. 

The pictures look gloomy and cold, but the full day we had (Monday) was warm, sunny and perfect weather for all of our outdoor adventures. Here are some of my favorite pictures (I took a whopping 207, which shocks me since we were outdoors and roughing it). 

I forgot how much fun tents are for kids. Downtime at camp was spent "playing" in the tent for hours. 

The walk down to the beach. 

Chilly first afternoon. 

In his element. 

Checking out tide pools with Daddy. 

Avalon was more interested in the stairs, which worked out well for pictures. 

This is so typical of my kids. 

OK, guys, put your shoes on. 

Hold on! I'm getting it! One second! I'm trying! Wait just a minute!

Our spot. Right behind the fence is a train track, which ran trains about 4-6 times a day (not at night). Rick was worried they would be bothersome after reading the campsite reviews online, but the trains were actually really cool to listen to. 

Typical response to Kids, let me take your picture.

Avalon turned away, and Loudoun said, Mom, I'm trying to play my DS!

Must.have.chips.in.a.cup.

Helping dad with the fire. 

My husband is a comedian. 

 

Yum. I definitely over-indulged in toasted marshmallows. 

If she says SMASHmallows forever, I will be one happy mom. 

 

 Telling ghost stories. 

Look! It's sunny!

Passed out on day #2 at 5pm. Camping is hard work!

It was so nice to be one with nature, to enjoy the quiet sounds around us, 

to get some alone time with God and quality time with my family. 

This trip will be repeated in the future, for sure!

Submit to your camping leader

The Bible states that women are to submit to their husbands:

Ephesians 5:22-33

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Which I truly believe in and have no trouble doing. I believe that Rick is the head of our household and is the leader of our family. I believe his role in our marriage is to protect me and provide for me and I need to allow him to fulfill those roles. I do not believe that by submitting to him as the one in charge that I am giving up my rights as a woman or diminishing my role in this family. I also know that if something were to happen to Rick, I would still be able to take care of myself and my kids. 


BUT.


I have never been more happy to submit to my husband as LEADER OF THE FAMILY and in CHARGE OF A TASK as I am with the trip we are about to leave on....

CAMPING!!!

I love camping....I love roughing it outdoors...I love eating grill-cooked food and enjoying nature and spending time with my family outside. But I do NOT like being in charge of any of it...packing, organizing, prepping, setting up, etc. 


I WOULD LOVE NOTHING MORE THAN TO HAVE RICK DO IT ALL! 


Lucky for me, he loves it. So, we make a perfect team.


Have a nice week everyone, we'll be roughing it on a beach, in a tent, toasting s'mores. 

Wordless Wednesday: WINNER

Loudoun won the sandcastle contest on the beach on his vacation with Grandma. 

Moving UP in the world...literally

Today was one of those days that was filled with enough writing material for at least 5 posts. Like, each time something new happened, I had to take a mental note of the first thing AND the second thing (AND then the third AND then the fourth) so that I didn't forget any of it. You know, for posting about it later. But instead of coming back here and expanding on all of it for the next couple of days, when it really no longer is as UUUmpfy in my head, I'm just gonna recap here and now.

(if nothing else, it will trigger my memory when I re-read it sometime in the future...which is the main reason I write here in the first place).

It all started Friday night when I scheduled the trip out to see the loft bed for sale from Craigslist. When I tried to get the kids in the car, nobody cooperated, so I emailed the lady and told her she could give the bed to the next caller, since I was having toddler issues. She wrote back and said she would save it for me any time I could make it out this weekend, because she has kids and totally understood.

Stranger kindness, I was so touched.

On Sunday morning I took Loudoun to church with me, where we sat in the adult service together again, which is about the best thing if you ask me. Sharing a sermon with your family. After the service I dropped him off at Grandma's house, because she took him to Catalina for a 3 day vacation. He's on a trip...without us!! I am so happy and excited for him and I just know he is having a blast. We already miss him, but this is good for him (and Grandma). It feels like he grew up 3 years in an instant, just by getting on that boat.

already reported to be having a good time...duh. 

So, after I dropped him off, I went and picked up the bed from the lady I emailed on Friday night. She greeted me with a smile and offered me a cup of coffee while her husband disassembled the bed upstairs. We talked about the neighborhood, raising kids, her twins who are now 15, my kids who are growing so fast too, and cool stuff like we were old friends catching up. After the bed was loaded in my truck, I hugged her and thanked her again for her kindness, and drove away. Our "princess castle bed project" at home was about to begin.

before

before

Dad, Avalon and I all painted in the front yard...

...ran out to buy a twin mattress to replace her toddler mattress, cleaned her room and assembled the bed. By 4:30pm, her new bed was ready. Her excitement all day was finally going to meet it's new milestone. A big girl bed.

Photo taken by Avalon,  from atop her bed! 
(Avalon was 3 days old in that pic. Gah, talk about memories) 

I snuck out to Target and got teary-eyed as I picked out new bedding for her in the young girl aisle. I am also going to use the bridesmaid dress I wore to a close friend's wedding in 2004 as the princess castle  curtain. I have been saving the dress in my closet for 7 years now for its great purple material, and it is time to put it to it's proper use. 

I was a tad bigger in 2004

after, with minor decorating touches left to complete

We're hoping that with Loudoun out of the house for the next 2 days, Avalon will want to sleep in her own room, in her own bed. If not, it'll be waiting there for her when she's ready.

Focusing on the important stuff in life

She insists on wearing her Christmas pj's to school, even though she wore them the night before. 

     I don't care. 


She has a tangle the size of a quarter on the back of her head that she won't let us brush out today. 


     We'll get to it tomorrow. 


She has had cheese pizza for dinner the past 3 nights. 


     I'm not going to worry about it. 


Pizza again tomorrow night?


     Maybe. 


She blurts out she loves me as I open her car door. 

     That's what life's about. 


She stays up past her bedtime to help me draw outside. 

(pacifier found from visiting baby, it's not hers)

photo taken by Avalon

     These are the memories I will remember. 

She paints blue lipstick from her popsicle. 

     This makes her happy. 


I kiss my kids all day long....on top of their heads as they pass by me, on their shoulders when they sit on my lap or on the couch next to me, on their foreheads when they are sleeping, on their toes when we roll across the carpet giggling. Kisses, kisses, kisses. At age 3 it is all Avalon knows, and at age 7 Loudoun still accepts them as normal. So I will keep on until they tell me enough already. I can't imagine a life without kisses and hugs and squeezes and affection. And before they were born I had no idea it would be like this. It is overflowing. 


She falls asleep on my legs because 30 minutes past her bedtime sends her into cranky mode and nothing will settle her down out of her meltdown except snuggling with Mama. And it took all of 30 seconds to melt into dreamland. 

Some days I cannot believe they are mine. These little bodies, running around doing their thing and thinking their thoughts and sharing everything they go through, with ME. This is my life! These wonderful beings. Enriching me, filling me up, increasing the love in my world. And they have no idea.