I used to do this before. Walking during my lunch break.
Last spring to shake off the winter feeling.
And in Fall of 2007 when I came back to work from maternity leave.
Has it really been almost 5 years since I walked these streets with her?
So neatly tucked away in a stroller, sleeping cozily in footed pajamas as I rounded block after block to take a break from the office?
Is she really my big girl now, getting ready to enter kindergarten in the fall, not ever needing a stroller anymore? Holding my hand everywhere we go, as we share about our days?
How did the years go by so quickly?
As I rounded all the same blocks yesterday, I was filled with praise from the worship songs on my iPod and praise on my heart for all the memories I keep of my little ones. Most days I feel guilty that I cannot remember more details from my 8 years of motherhood, and I know it will only get worse as I get older.
Memories fade, and I grasp to hold onto them.
But yesterday I felt complete gratitude for all of the memories I do remember. I spent 45 minutes jumping from memory to memory of her almost 5 years in my life, from the little things she did as a newborn to the big things she is doing as a little girl.
And my heart just swelled. It swelled for the gift of my family, and it swelled for the gift all the days I get to share with them.
And I'm grateful for cameras.
My son will be 8 in eleven days. More to come on how my heart is exploding for that kid.
There is no way you have an 8 year old.
ReplyDeleteThat means we have known each other over 10 years and that can't be possible. We're not old enough.
:)
It IS hard to cling to every last memory. I've felt that same panic so often! Your perspective is definitely better!!
ReplyDeleteOh, this twisted my heart up. This is me and where I'm at right now, watching my 5-year-old from the corner of my eye and wondering how in the world my pouty-lipped sweet baby grew to be more than half my height and full of ready opinions. We decided to send him to school here (it's a fantastic school, among other reasons), and the prospect of watching him leave the house in the morning fills me with mixed emotions. But what you model here with such inspiration --reflecting on the memories you hold tight; remembering how blessed we are for these childrens' presence in our lives-- I can hold to this while I work through yet another transition for our family.
ReplyDeleteThat's pretty compelling - my memories are not all grand, but I am thankful for each and every one of them!
ReplyDeleteOh, mama hearts unite in the brief unraveling of memories. Every now and then I get completely wrapped up in one of my little ones and I play the movie of their lives in my mind wondering how this bigness has happened so quickly.
ReplyDeleteMay there be many many more days of her holding your hand and lots of moments well lived together.