everyday I'm shufflin'

There I was, cruising along all these parenting years, thinking I had it all down - that scheduling and chauffeuring was a breeze and I had it under control. And then WHAMMO! My kids turned 5 and 8 and everything turned upside-down in chaos.

Avalon went from 1 simple hour at a recreational gym class to 5 hours a week on the team. Loudoun went from not sure what he wanted to do for an extra curricular activity, to sure he wanted to do soccer which has 1 practice and 1 game a week. For now. There could be more.

Attempting to make this all work seemed easy until I threw in the fact that I work an hour away from my kids' schools, making it impossible to be in 2-3 places at the same time.

And then all of a sudden, I realized the stress other moms (dads, too) feel. I mean, if you put me in that position of driving them from place A to B to C, back to A again, I thrived! I felt in my element and loved being right in the heart of my kids' joy and excitement. But because I work far away, I was only able to get a taste of that role on random days off or days I could get out of work early, before I quickly realized I just couldn't do it full-time.

It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made, but I chose to let go, ask for help, and rely on someone else. Actually, several other someone elses, to drive my kids. It's no fun giving up control...It's no fun asking for help...It's no fun being here when they are there, ya know? But I was called to make some sacrifices, so for now I am rolling with it.

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Just when I thought I had scheduling all figured out, the school Loudoun was on a wait list for called yesterday morning. School already started 3 days ago, but if we wanted to put him in this new school, now was the time. Rick and I stressed all day about how Loudoun would react...scared? Sad to leave his friends? Terrified of going to a new place? We planned a family dinner to soften the blow when we told him. But in typical surprise! parenting fashion, it wasn't necessary. He took it in stride and actually thanked us for putting him on that list in the first place.

I mean, how does an 8 year old grasp that level of maturity? He's more mature than Rick and me, for sure. We panicked, he did not!

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I've just decided parenting is hard. No, really, it is! I've always heard from the beginning that it would get harder as time passed, just in different ways. And I understood. At first, it was changing diapers, lack of sleep and choosing preschools. But then when your kid's heart gets broken, it gets harder. When they get picked on, it picks on your heart as well. When they can't solve a problem, you take on that problem, too.

But scheduling? I had no idea it would be hard other than the mere fact I had to keep a calendar up-to-date. My feelings are involved! I want Avalon to enjoy team, and get every opportunity available to her. I want Loudoun to feel confident trying a new sport. I want to be there to cheer my kids on, every step of the way. I had no idea that would not all be possible, or that there would be so many obstacles of life in the way.

So, what have I learned? Or should I say, what do I continually keep learning over and over?

Trust in the LORD with all your heart; 

do not depend on your own understanding. 

Seek his will in all you do, 

and he will show you which path to take. 

~ Proverbs 3:5-6