the slow pace of normal

Life after a death in the family has been quick to get back to normal but slow in order to take care of feelings in the process. I must say, having kids and their laughter present has made a big difference in easing the grieving process.

We've had playdates

a friend's birthday sleepover

family exercise outings: daddy on his bike, Avalon in her motorized Barbie car, Loudoun on his roller blades and I jogged alongside with Barkley. 

A special date night with our daughter

We've slept in

and gone to church

played where's my water (highly addicting!)

and ordered pizza for dinner. 

The slow pace of normal. It's helping.

bigger picture: seeing beauty during the time of death

Until about 2 years ago, after getting sober and starting a personal relationship with my Maker, I don't believe I really knew what it was like to see the good things in the middle of a tragedy. This week has proved a change occurred.

I have grown closer to my husband as a result of holding each other nearer than ever before. 

We have been able to visit with family and friends, some we are very close to, and others we don't get to see often enough.

We have bonded, grown closer, and talked into late hours in the night. 

I learned things about my father-in-law I never knew before. Some stories from my husband, but a lot from my mother-in-law and other close relatives. The different perspectives are so touching.

I have spent very special alone time with my kids to get them out of the house and let off some steam.

We have all been healthy throughout everything. 

We made it down the ski mountain safely after a huge storm, on our way to rush to my mother-in-law's house 6 hours away. 

I have been given so many opportunities to step in and help out when people just couldn't. 

Friends have shown such big hearts and caring gestures during our difficult time. 

Prayers were lifted up on our behalf and song lyrics and Bible verses were sent for comfort. 

Putting together a memorial service has kept us busy and let us all soak in the pictures, videos and stories. 

I am heartbroken for my husband. I knew his father was getting older and this day would come eventually. But no one can prepare for losing their daddy. And my best friend lost his daddy. My heart is breaking for him. 

blessings, and seeing them

Just like the whole, if a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it then did it still happen? Well, if you don't realize a blessing has occurred, did it still happen?

Like if you're scheduled to go to a conference you are really excited about and then have to cancel to stay home with your kids while your husband works, well if the day ends up being so fantastic with your kids and you get to spend alone time with God and His Word and you go to sleep just in awe of the way everything unfolded.

or

if you drive super far to go to friends' church service and your daughter throws up in the car and you have to stop at Target to get another outfit and the scheduled baptism is delayed and at another location and the schedule of the day was unknown from the beginning, but the day ends up being beautiful and the ceremony was emotional and the kids behaved and were quiet when they needed to be and lunch was delicious and time with friends was so treasured.

and

if the pastor took an opportunity to explain a baptism and ended up sharing the entire Gospel for all ears to hear.  More than any Christmas or Easter service might have the time to share.

If you don't realize at the end of all of that how amazing it was, did those blessings really happen? Or maybe, by realizing all of it came from Him, that it the best blessing of all.