work horses

With the warm spring weather we've been having in Los Angeles the last couple of weeks months, we've been going out on a lot of bike rides. Last Sunday I took the kids out on a ride and Avalon chose to take her Barbie Escalade motorized car. We got about 3 blocks away and the car slowly came to a halt.

Out of battery.

I took a big leap of faith and asked Loudoun to ride home alone to get Dad and the truck to bring the dead car home in, while I stayed with Avalon and the big pink car.

It was taking quite awhile, so I did my best not to worry about Loudoun, when all of a sudden I spot Loudoun riding back on his bike and daddy......walking down the sidewalk towards us.

With rope.

Apparently, situation assessment and decision making took on a whole new beast on the other end. So I did what any smart mom would do.

I handed my bike over to Dad, told the boys to tow her home, and I ran ahead to get my camera to capture it all.

We're geniuses, I tell ya!

what fixes a sad heart?

When she comes to me and says, Gwynn said she never wants to play with me, ever again!, 

I don't know what to say. I mean, deep down as an adult with experience I know it will smooth 

over and they will be friends again because 4 year olds don't operate on forever, 

but that won't help in a time like this. 

No, I don't know what to tell her to mend her little heart. Because in her mind, forever feels 

as real as the word sounds. I struggle with the It's ok and let's talk to her tomorrow and 

let's forgive and be understanding for tomorrow's a new day, but really, 

when not much of it is sinking in through her tears, I go to something I know will help.  

frozen yogurt.

I mean, how can it NOT help turn a day around? 

The sprinkles! The gummy bears! The marshmallow topping!

And time together spent, just the 2 of us. 

As we left she said giggling, I'm still mad at Gwynn, 

but she skipped out of the store and the weight was lifted. 

And yes, they made up at school the very next day. 

They shared a muffin for breakfast. 

a day at the races

Late last week Rick's work held a raffle. They brought an actual Honda racecar into their lobby and raffled off a prize package that included a ride in the Honda racecar around the Long Beach Grand Prix track.

This past Saturday.

We had to be there at 8:30am. Yikes!

While that made it super early that our family had to leave our house in order to make it all the way across town and find parking and get to the paddock area, this was so exciting for Rick and there was no way we were going to miss seeing this as a family.

With his special backstage pass, we went into the restricted area and found the Honda racing team RV. He filled out paperwork (signed his life away), got assigned a suit and fireproof shoes and then we waited for his race time to arrive.

I LOVE that everyone's eyes are closed (mine included!)...it was bright!

When it came time to race, we walked towards the end of the paddock area to head towards the racetrack, but were stopped by security who said, "Sorry, only racers past this point, no family or friends." We were extremely disappointed that we wouldn't get to see Rick do anything more than walk around in a cool outfit, but we understood there are safety rules to follow, and waved goodbye to him as he walked away. 

Not 5 seconds later, an older lady who was also working security at that entrance came over and said, "You can't miss watching your daddy race that awesome car, follow me" and she took us out right to the racetrack with all of the press photographers and followed it up with, "Now hold onto their hands, do not let go, and keep them right by your side. Oh, and get lots of pictures." 

We couldn't believe how lucky we were to get to see this only 10 feet away:

And the funny part was, after all that prepping and waiting and instruction etc., he was back in less than a minute. Geesh. 180 miles per hour is FAST. 

We spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon eating cotton candy, sitting in the grandstands and enjoying the day together as a family. We left pretty early (4 year olds don't always last long, especially when it's cold and windy) but we were so tired we didn't mind too much. 

winter blues

Yesterday after I posted my story about my heartache of parenting recently, I browsed through the list of blogs I typically read and found we were all kind of going through the same things this past week or so.

Feelings of failure. Feelings of inadequacy. Feelings of insecurity. And feelings of worry about our direct influence on our littles.

And it made me reflect on the Earth's seasons and how God gave us seasons for a reason. The kind of posts I read yesterday typically don't bog down the internet during the months of June, July and August, when tank-tops and flip-flops are an outwardly display of our inwardly carefree summer hearts.

No, right now we are going through the switch between winter and spring, when we shed off the old and dead, and bring on the new and full of life. And there is a process. And it hurts, but we are being shaped and molded and will spring new life in the months to come.

photo credit

bigger picture moment: a sharp tongue

A gentle answer turns away wrath,
   but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Yesterday was a huge parenting FAIL.

I yelled, and didn't realize the repercussion til several minutes later. 

It felt so natural to come outside and raise my voice. I mean, my daughter was hurt, my son and the neighbor had been running around with nun chucks, and in my mind it was my role to come out and halt the chaos with my power and loud voice. My husband had already grabbed my daughter and was consoling her, and I took it upon myself to sternly tell my son to PUT THE NUN CHUCKS AWAY.

There. Situation resolved. Boys went inside, daughter was sniffling away the tears, all better. 

Only it wasn't. 

I went inside to find my son with his head buried in his pillow, his friend playing by himself across the room. 

The soothing tongue is a tree of life, 

but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.

Shortly afterwards the kid went home, and it took me a good 1/2 an hour to get my son to talk to me. When everything came out, it was his friend who had hit my daughter with the nun chuck, not him. And I embarrassed him. Joey's mom never yells at him when they are at his house. And when I should have come out and assessed the situation and dealt with everyone with compassion, I didn't. I tore down his spirit. 

And my heart broke into a million pieces. 

And if I'm really honest with myself, I raise my voice to my son more often than I'd like to admit. The rowdiness, annoying burps and gross jokes and typical boy stuff is just too much to bear sometimes. 

But he is a kid. And he is going to do kid things. And I need to not be so bothered by it and actually embrace it more, because it won't last forever. Most days I handle it well. But the days I don't? I really don't. 

A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, 

but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.

I've often pictured an imaginary video camera following me around to keep me accountable from raising my voice. And that works most of the time, but wouldn't have worked yesterday. The advice I read last night after the incident really sat deep in my heart, and I think will make a difference as I parent during future frustrating moments. 

Picture someone saying everything you say to your kids, TO YOU. same words. same tone. same attitude. same intent. 

Loudoun? That's enough. Loudoun? Come on. Loudoun? Really?

Robin? That's enough. Robin? Come on. Robin? Really?

Not pretty. And now that he's growing up, it is all that more important. I can't parent him with power anymore. I need to parent him with intent, good choices, and security. And that can only work if I haven't broken his spirit. 

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, 

but only what is helpful for building others 

up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Ugh, parenting is hard. I'm a sinful mess and my bad moods and sharp tongue get in the way sometimes. I thank Jesus that he is merciful and gives wisdom every time I ask. 

Head on over to Alita's this week for more bigger picture moments.