Here's a way kids can be *perfect!*

Really, I should say a way parents can be perfect, for it is mostly the effort and determination of Rick that these kids are dressed and fed and get to school everyday on time. Avalon got the perfect attendance award for the first month! Seriously, I would be a frazzled mess with an early morning deadline at 2 different schools in addition to my work arrival. Rick is cool, calm and collected and can deal with whatever they throw at him! Mix-matched socks, breakfast that doesn't make sense or a dog barking at the garbage man, he's got it under control!

But, she does earn some of the credit, since her willingness to get ready, do things on someone else's timetable and not cling onto Rick's leg at the Kinder gate have VASTLY improved. I no longer hear crying in the background when I call from work in the morning to check on them. She has her homework in her backpack, ready to go.

And let's not forget to praise Loudoun in all of this. For while he gets his own awards aplenty, he is a huge contributor to keeping her mellow and happy with routines that don't evolve around her. He earned that award, too! Those 2 have a bond I am amazed by.

Well done family, you make a mama proud.

just thinking, that's all.

What it takes to come to faith in Jesus: realize your sins and finally getting to the point where you no longer want to sin and you want to be forgiven of sins and start to live a life for Jesus with decreasing sin, trying to be more and more like Him.

What it takes to come to sobriety: realize you are an alcoholic and finally getting to the point where you no longer want to drink and you want to start to live a life without alcohol.

Oh, how I seem to run across so many parallels in sobriety that mirror my walk with Christ, the latest hitting me on my drive home the other day. Obviously (to me anyway), it was because of Christ that I was even able to approach sobriety three years ago (1 year, 2 years), but it struck me the other day how these two went hand in hand. It was at almost at the exact same time that I said,

I don't want to drink anymore, it is not worth it 

and 

I don't want to sin anymore, I want a saviour. 

Neither were of my own strength, both have been the best decisions of my life, both here on this earth and eternally.

I mean, that's powerful. I stand back in awe of what He has done in my life. And I bow down at His feet, thanking Him for changing me and having mercy on all of my shortcomings.

Throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, 

which is corrupted by lust and deception. 

Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 

Put on your new nature, created to be like God—

truly righteous and holy. 

~Ephesians 4:22-24 (NLT)

I know the Lord used alcoholism to bring me to the Cross. I look back in my twenties and early thirties and marvel at the thought that I had no idea, many, many years in the future there would be an answer to why it all happened in my life. Why I suffered through the guilt and shame, why I could never stop at just one, why my brain fantasized about the next drink all day long until I got it, why I thought I was a better parent by drinking when in reality I was distancing myself from them, why I don't remember so many of the details because I was in a fog, why partying was such a high priority. There was a purpose. He let me do my thing, and used it for my good. 

So, today I am in prayer. Deep in prayer with gratitude for my sobriety. For the grace bestowed upon me by our merciful Lord. For my changed for the better life. Deep in prayer for those who suffer with alcoholism. I ache for them. Friends. Family. Loved ones. Deep in prayer for those who don't even know they have a chance at something better if they could just stand up in the face of mercy and reach out their hand. Deep in prayer for those around me whose lives are being affected by the horrible truths alcohol brings. 

Deep in prayer, lifting my hands up to the GLORY of our LORD. 

THREE

Life is messy and full. Full of excitement and to-do lists and messy with love and grace.
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Arguing about doing homework.  Driving to soccer. and to gym. and back to soccer. and then through the drive thru. Wishing my husband shared my faith. Looking at the sad face of a C- test score. Walking around vacation towns taking in the salty air. Washing leotards 2 hours past bedtime so they're ready tomorrow. Driving home crying my eyes out to worship songs. Taking videos of first swims and first dives. Getting brave to pray out loud. Cleaning scraped knees. Teaching we and the during bedtime reading. Frozen yogurt rewards. Learning about God's character. Supporting friends in need. Flying across the country to be with your sister in the hospital. Understanding what 91 feels like through the words of your grandmother. Measuring your kids' height on the wall. Wishing it would slow down. Watching God's glory reveal itself in the day to day. Meeting friends for coffee. Wishing for more time for an evening gym class. Buying bubble gum machines for anniversary presents. Saying the wrong thing and humbling yourself with apologies. Breakfasts in bed. Replacing headlights that go out way too often. Buying soccer balls and water bottles the right color. Tricking cauliflower and broccoli into new creations. Lugging a camera to capture the perfect shot of your kids. Having your pride revealed and stripped. Watching funny tv shows night after night with your husband. Sharing Christ with friends and being rejected. Picking up legos. Taking your dog for walks. Joining a bible study and pouring your heart out. Planning more vacations than you have sick days, hoping you don't get sick in December because camping on a beach in July with your family is more important. Arts and crafts. Learning forgiveness through work relationships. Letting people help you in your time of need. Realizing your sassy daughter is smarter than both you and your husband-she shows it daily with school drop off alone. Trying to eat right and less and workout more and harder. Praising clean rooms. Making time for your love and getting out of the house together. Forgetting to shut the hall door before leaving the house and coming home to 6 stuffed animals soggy under the dining room table. Praying over my kids as they sleep, kissing their cheeks as many times as I want because they aren't awake to say, Aww, mom, enough. Designing a couch that had 32 choices. Hanging up patio lights and smelling new roses growing in the front yard. Buying a new truck and selling a jet ski and volunteering at church on Sundays and spending some services out in the lobby. Alien drawings on the fridge. Rupturing ear drums and forcing flu shots on screaming kids. Being afraid to enter new rooms alone; reassuring my son of the same. Supervising science experiments (not for school, mind you) and painting pink toes. Head snuggles on fever days. Letting your kids stay up late on Friday nights. Playdates with neighbor kids. Trips to Ikea with my mom. Texting bible verses to friends to cheer them up.

with all that, I don't have time to drink! 

I kid, of course, because really, I made time before and if I really wanted to drink again I would make the time. But go through all this and not feel it all? Not live it all? Not be there for it all? Not invest in it all? Well that would be a tragedy. It's been three years today that I have filled my life with good stuff. Not the bad stuff I thought would make everything better.

Three years.